"—Batman, are you staying for the party?
—[In Batman costume] If I stay,
there can be no party. I must be out there in the night, staying vigilant. Wherever
a party needs to be saved, I'm there. Wherever there are masks, wherever
there's tomfoolery and joy, I'm there. But sometimes I'm not cause I'm out in
the night, staying vigilant. Watching. Lurking. Running. Jumping. Hurtling.
Sleeping. No, I can't sleep. You sleep. I'm awake. I don't sleep. I don't
blink. Am I bird? No. I'm a bat. I am Batman. Or am I? Yes, I am Batman. Happy
"Still cool as a zombie! "
"And I know they gave digital muscles to Chris Pratt in Guardians of the Galaxy. I watch Parks and Rec. I watched it. There’s no scientific explanation for it."
"Troy and Abed shooting laaaaava!"
"[To Annie] I forgot you're twenty. When you become roommates with friends, the things you love about them become the things that makes you want to smother them with a pillow."
"—The Dean had his seventh epiphany today, which has given me an epiphany of my own: the Dean is a genius. He has to be. If he isn't, then I've given almost two weeks of life to an idiot; that is unacceptable. Therefore, the Dean is a genius, and I will die protecting his vision.
—Are you by any chance familiar with Stockholm Syndrome?
—Is it something that the Dean created? Because if not, I don't care."
"As you know, our student records are held on a Microsoft Paint file, which I was assured was future-proof..."
"Jeff, you don’t have to worry about what foreigners think of you. That’s your birthright as an American."
"—We just watched the Inspector Spacetime wedding special, so we know how to act in a wedding.
—Be sure to get a DNA sample from each of the guests. Once Inspector Spacetime ended up marrying himself as a baby."
"This place is a zoo. The trick is you got to show the other baboons you have a bigger redder ass"
Este lugar es un zoo. El truco está en enseñarle a los otros babuinos que tienes un culo rojizo más grande.—Profesor Buzz Hickey